


I thought I'd lost you

by Diamondisbackbitch



Series: Kinktober 2018 [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark, Dubious Consent, How Do I Tag, I Did That, I'm gonna tag this as, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Just to be safe, Kinda, Kinktober, Kinktober 2018, M/M, Omega Bucky Barnes, Pregnancy, Rough Sex, SHIELD, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Shield is still a thing bc who cares about continuity, Somewhat, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, and guess what, it's not Steve's, oh yeah, sad sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2019-07-29 12:59:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16264706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diamondisbackbitch/pseuds/Diamondisbackbitch
Summary: Steve is on a hunt for the Winter Soldier, determined to find the man who's assassinated so many, helping Hydra grow.Between the soldier being an omega, his best friend, and pregnant, Steve got a bit more than he bargained for.(yeah, it's a kinktober fic without any smut yet, but I let plot get the better of me. To be updated in November)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering what Bucky is doing, he ran off when he figured out he's pregnant and is hiding out until Hydra finds him and drags him back.
> 
> also, screw having anything to do with actual movie plot, I make my own.

The last sighting was a few miles from here. No telling where the soldier was, but even he couldn't move terribly far in half an hour. Talented as he was. Multiple sightings in the same town helped Steve figure The Soldier was bunking down somewhere near. Somewhere like this barn nearly hidden by the surrounding foliage.

Steve kept his footsteps as silent as possible as he approached the entrance. Whatever he did, he needed to keep the upper hand here, otherwise no way was he going to beat this guy.

For everything he expected when he walked through the open barn doors, a sobbing, curled up omega wasn't it. The weapons were stripped from The Soldier's body and littered along the floor along with his armor and mask, leaving him less of a threat, but still enough for Steve to grip his shield tighter.

"H-hey..." He whispered, gently walking toward the figure. "Are you hurt?" He smelled hurt, or at least in pain somehow. And the way he curled over himself showed he was probably hiding something, not to mention shivering despite the mostly warm night.

The Soldier didn't fight when Steve gently pushed away his arm so he could examine his chest. Finding nothing he gently examined his legs, then his arms, then..

Oh.

OH.

"Bucky." He whispered, barely able to make out the word as he slid a hand around the soldi- no, Bucky's face, pulling him closer. "Bucky, what's wrong?"

Bucky shivered and whimpered, shaking his head and pulling away from Steve. "Not Bucky. Not-" He gave a few quick and panicked hand signals, some form of sign language, Steve guessed, before backing into a corner and wrapping his arms around his stomach again. "Not Bucky." He sighed.

Steve frowned. "Alright. I- I guess I won't call you that then." He put the shield down and went back over to examine his friend. Friend? What had they done to him anyway? Was Bucky even still in there?

Bucky whimpered, but didn't move away again. "Alpha." He whispered, tapping Steve's arm.

"Yes, alpha." Steve nodded, pointing to himself. "My name is Steve. You know me. Well, knew me. Once."

"Omega." Bucky said, tapping his chest. "Omega hurt."

So they were getting somewhere, however slowly. "Where does it hurt? I can help you. There's a hospital not too far from here if you need it, but I have first aid training." He couldn't afford not to with all the shit he went through.

Bucky put both hands on the underside of his stomach, which bulged out just ever so slightly. Not something one would expect from someone as well trained and conditioned to fight at the soldier, but for an omega...

"Are you pregnant? Is that what you're trying to say?" God, Steve hoped not. There was no mating mark on Buck's neck, but still. Having kits with an alpha you might never see again was full on dangerous. So dangerous there were actual laws about abandoning pregnant omegas now, which always made Steve smile. His mother had been left alone to care for him and he knew just how bad that could turn out for everyone.

Bucky nodded softly, hugging his knees to his chest. "Bad omega. Ran away and got caught." He muttered.

Steve chuckled. "You're not a bad omega. Trust me, you're doing great. Look, I'm gonna call someone to come pick us up and I'm gonna take you back to my place to stay, okay? It'll take some getting used to, but you'll be safe. You can stay there, raise your kits in peace. or leave if you really want to. We won't stop you." Shield could try, but Steve would fight every person in there if he needed to to keep Bucky happy. Even if it meant being happy without him.

"No." Bucky frowned, shaking his head. "Bad omega. Stay."

Steve sighed and hit the button to call a chopper to his location. It might be awhile, so he'd have to keep Bucky busy until it got there and somehow convince him to go with them. "You're not a bad omega, Bucky. You've been through things I don't understand, but we can help you. I promise."

Bucky shook his head and put a hand over his stomach. "Bad." He took Steve's hand and pressed it there along with his own. "Hydra take them away. Stay here." His voice got low and raspy as he stumbled over the words. Like he'd forgotten how to properly speak.

"They'd take your kits? That's what you're worried about?" Steve felt sick as Bucky nodded. "I'm not gonna let that happen, okay? You're gonna keep them. You're gonna be safe, I promise. I'm gonna keep you away from those fucks."

Bucky smiled weakly and shook his head as if he didn't believe it.

A horrible thought spread over Steve. "This isn't your first litter, is it?"

Bucky shook his head and held up three fingers, then four and patten his stomach. Not bothering to say anything, or perhaps just too tired.

"This is your fourth then? You've had three others, what... do you know what happened to them?"

Bucky put and hand over Steve's mouth and smirked, leaning back before closing his eyes. Obviously tired.

Steve chuckled. "Alright. I'll let you sleep then." He smiled at his once friend and watched him rest.

X X X X X X X X X X

"You cannot keep the winter soldier in your bedroom." Tony crossed his arms, blocking the door. "I don't care who you say he is, if he stays here he stays under surveillance and heavy guards at /least/. I'm not taking your bullshit this time Steve. He's dangerous."

Steve growled softly, stepping in front of Bucky protectively. "His name is Bucky and he's my friend. If you wanna put up cameras in my room fine, go ahead. But wherever he goes I'm going with him. And you're not gonna treat him like a prisoner. He's scared and he needs help. You of all people should know what that's like. Tony, please, he's not a bad guy. Hydra made him into something he's not. Please. Just let him stay with me." He begged.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Dammit Steve you're gonna get all of us killed!"

Bucky pushed past Steve and frowned at Tony. "Shh. Don't yell." He murmured. "Steve is a good alpha." He smiled softly, wrapping his hands around his stomach bulge.

"So you can speak in full sentences." Tony huffed. "That's good at least. Look, if you want all weapons removed from your room and heavy monitoring on your every move by the rest of us just to keep him in there with you I guess I won't stop you. But if so much as /one/ thing goes wrong then everyone in this building is gonna come take him down. You can't fight everyone Steve."

Steve grinned. "Wanna bet?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This mostly focuses on Steve trying to get Bucky to act more like a normal human and clearing all the drugs and Hydra commands from his system

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve, Tony, Rhodey, and Natasha are Alphas
> 
> Bruce, T'challa, and Sam are betas
> 
> Clint, Peter, and Bucky are omegas
> 
> I think that covers all the avengers I'll ever put in this story

"Bucky..." Steve sighed as he gathered the clothes spread over his bedroom floor. The nest in the corner contained the rest of his dirty laundry along with every blanket and pillow the maids had managed to scrap together for them. "Give it back."

Bucky shook his head, hugging a pile of underwear and sweaty shirts. According to the 'what to do when your omega is expecting' book Steve had picked up, pregnant omegas tended to nest much like they did in heat.

Steve sighed and put what clothes he could get into his basket. "At least say something? I'll give you a cookie." He pulled out a packet of chocolate cookies and held it out to him. "Please?"

Bucky grinned, reaching forward and snatched the cookies before Steve could react and crawling back into his nest.

"Bucky!" Steve groaned. "We're never going to get anywhere like this you know."

"Not Bucky." Bucky reminded, frowning up at him.

Steve sighed. "Fine. Then what is your name? If it makes you feel better I could call you that. Promise." He offered. He would, even if it hurt. Anything to make him happy.

"Soldier. Or 'asset'. Or slut." He looked down at his stomach and hugged it gently. looking as if he might cry. "You can call me Bucky." He mumbled, crawling forward to lay down in Steve's lap.

Steve whimpered, petting Bucky's hair gently. "I'm so sorry. You're not a slut, okay? I promise. None of this is your fault sweetheart." He purred, trying to comfort the omega as best he could. Without a mating mark his scent wouldn't do anything for Bucky, but he rubbed his scent gland against him anyway.

Bucky relaxed a bit and let Steve play with his hair. His natural hand was resting around his stomach, the metal one laid out in front of him as he did the best he could to ignore it. His eyes closed as he tried to relax, despite everything going on around him. Everything in his head. Everything in his past. Everything.

"You're going to be fine Buck. I promise." Steve smiled, doing his best to comfort the omega. "I swear."

X X X X X X X X X X X

"I got you a present." Natasha smiled, holding out a large bag from a maternity store. "Well, it's more for Bucky, but it should help both of you at least a bit." She shrugged and gave the bag to Steve. 

Steve looked inside and grinned. "Thank you so much Nat, this really does help." He pulled her into a hug. "Thank you."

Natasha chuckled. "It's nothing, seriously. It was like fifty bucks of maternity stuff to help out with a stressed omega. Probably not nearly enough to fix what your friend is going through, but it should help at least." She shrugged. 

"Still. You're the best." Steve smiled. "I've got to get Bucky some more pain meds. They don't work for long, but I don't want to give him shots or anything stronger right now. It's hard to say what will effect him and the pups poorly."

Natasha nodded. "Well I'll check in later. I'm glad you got him somewhere safe. I've seen him in action before; no one deserves that kind of brainwashing."

"I know. Hydra is a monster." Steve sighed. "I should go. I don't want to leave Bucky alone longer than I need to."

"Good luck then." Natasha watched as Steve walked off. "God, I hope you're right about him." She whispered. 

X X X X X X X X X X X

"It's a weighted blanket." Bruce explained. "It'll help get him to sleep easier and make him feel like he's being cuddled all the time." He smiled and shrugged. "They help with my anxiety a lot, so I thought he could use one too."

Steve grinned and put the blanket over his arm over the maternity store bag. "Thank you Bruce. I'm sure he'll love it."

Bruce nodded and took another bottle of heavy duty painkillers out of his cabinet. "Keep me updated on how he's doing, okay? If you need anything I'll be here for you. Anytime man, I want you to know that."

"I know." Steve smiled weakly. "Thanks Bruce. You've helped more than you can imagine. I should get back to Bucky though, I hate to leave him alone long. I'm scared he'll hurt himself." ... or someone else. Steve thought to himself. But it was best to keep that little worry to himself. If Tony ever found out he wasn't completely confident that Bucky was harmless then he might not be able to keep him in the tower any longer.

"I know. You're nervous he'll hurt someone." Bruce squeezed Steve's shoulder and looked him deep in the eyes. "He's dangerous. We all know that. But he's also an omega and a pregnant one at that; I doubt he'd risk his health and the pups' safety without reason. So don't give him a reason and we'll all be fine."

"Hell of a pep talk Banner."

Bruce shrugged. "I try to be truthful when I can be. You should go. He needs the pain meds." He reminded.

"Right." Steve sighed. "Meds."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve has a brilliant idea and we get more Bruce cameos bc he's my favorite avenger
> 
> -This chapter is kind of a hodgepodge bc I wrote a couple of different scenes and then forgot about this chapter, so I just did my best to tie everything together, I did the best I could, sorry. I hope this story starts making more sense next chapter, but who knows-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, I headcanon that Thor is much more adjusted to life on Earth than he acts. He only pretends not to understand tech and shit like that to annoy Tony (which works. Quite well) fight me

"I want to have a baby shower for him. Like they did in the fifties, not how it is now." Steve mused, stirring his coffee idly. Tony, Thor, and Bruce were the only others in the room, but might as well get the idea out while he had it.

Tony shook his head. "Not a good idea. First of all, because I'm pretty sure everyone is gonna say no because I think you're forgetting the whole social justice movement that made those go out of style, and second of all because you're kidding right? You want us all to make food and what, baby boots for a world famous assassin? And everyone is in the same room with said assassin? You know, talking, taking pictures, eating their weight's worth of pudding. He's not stable."

Steve growled. "You haven't seen him. He's doing fine, alright? And I think the familiarity will help him. And I know they're not in style anymore, but he and I grew up going to these. You never saw him talk about having his own, Tony. It'll just be the Avengers there. If something happens it's not like we can't handle ourselves and there won't be any weapons in the area, there /aren't any weapons in the area/ for him to use."

"What about Bruce then?" Tony pointed out. "What if your new best friend attacks him?"

"He won't" Steve sighed. "I promise, okay? Besides, Bruce can handle himself just fine. Right?"

Bruce bit his lip and stepped back. "I'm not getting into this argument right now. I think I'll go watch a movie with Thor. Thor? You wanna watch a movie?" He took his coffee and turned out of the room. Refusing to be any part of this.

Thor smiled softly and followed him. Slightly confused. "Bruce?" He whispered once they got into the hallway. "What are they talking about."

"It's an alpha/omega thing." Bruce shrugged. "Pregnant omegas often have parties thrown for them so they can have supplies when the new babies arrive. The way these parties are thrown changed drastically in the last fifty or so years from a party for the neighborhood you live in that an alpha throws to show off his or her omega to the neighbors to a sort of family affair where family and friends come and give the couple gifts and hang out." He explained. "Steve and Bucky are used to how it used to be."

Thor nodded. "Right. And Steve thinks it will help Bucky to throw a party as they used to when they were young. Makes sense. I'd be honored to go to such an event." He smiled, walking behind Bruce into his lab.

"If Tony lets him. But don't worry, he'll come around eventually. He's just jealous because he thinks he's losing his best friend. Tends to make alphas a bit agitated when you- well, honestly when you do anything to Tony. He's like that." He shrugged. "So, what should we watch."

X X X X X X X X X X

"Hey baby." Steve took a platter piled high with food back to Bucky. "You feeling okay?" Bucky was perched on the highest shelf of his closet. Clutching his stomach. Steve figured it must tire him to climb up there (he never seemed to catch Bucky in the act), but he did it anyway. Instinct or something. "I brought food." Steve grabbed the stepladder he'd stashed in a corner of the closet so he could reach up and place the food next to Bucky. "Is there anything else I can get you?"

Bucky shook his head and grabbed the plate, shoving a handful of food into his mouth, licking his fingers happily.

"Right, well I brought you some stuff," He gestured towards the weighted blanket and the bag of things Natasha bought them. "I'll leave you the blanket and maternity clothes, most of the rest is for after you give birth, so I'll put it away for now." He smiled and managed a peck on Bucky's cheek before the ex-assassin bent down and began to eat again. "Love you."

There was no answer, but it didn't bother him too much. Steve hoped down, put the step ladder away, and piled the blanket and clothes on the edge of Bucky's nest. (The omega still refused to allow him into the pile of clothes and bedding) "See you later Buck," Steve promised, blowing him a kiss before leaving, closing the door behind himself.

Bucky smiled softly behind him, licking the food off of his fingers.

X X X X X X X X X X

"This is a terrible idea," Tony grumbled, putting down the boxes of pizza on the table as he stared at the assassin laying across Steve's lap.

Bruce rolled his eyes, brushing past Tony to hand Steve a gift from him and Thor. "I think things are going fine. He hasn't even done anything, I don't think he'd hurt anyone."

"We don't know that," Tony shrugged, taking a spot against the wall where he could keep an eye on Bucky without being too close.

Steve huffed, shooting him a glare before turning back to Bucky and rubbing his stomach. "You're doing great, babe, don't listen to him. You're amazing."

Bucky hummed happily, leaning up for a kiss before snuggling back onto the couch. He seemed content to lay on Steve's lap and watch as the Avengers filed into the room, bringing food or presents for the couple. He still didn't really say anything, but he seemed to almost glow with happiness at all the attention.

"You look happy," Natasha smiled, giving Steve a small box, "And don't go into me already giving you stuff, that was for you. This one's for Bucky."

Steve shook his head. "You're too nice, Nat. Really, thank you."

Natasha smiled and ruffled Bucky's hair. "I'm glad I can help."

"Do you wanna open it?" Steve handed the box to Bucky and watched as he carefully slipped it out of the wrapping.

Inside were soft white baby boots, making Bucky grin and balance them on top of his baby bump, snuggling even closer to Steve.

"Thank you, really..." Steve wrapped an arm around his omega, looking around at his friends. Even Tony was smiling at the couple. "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did Thor and Bruce watch? Either a Fast and Furious movie or Little Women. There is no in between. Do I ship them? Probably a little bit.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna say it's been at least two months or so since the first chapter happened. I know I said Bucky wasn't showing that much in that chapter, but I kinda want to have some cute baby bump fluff so now he's seven months.
> 
> Continuity is overrated anyway.

Thankfully, Steve seemed to loosen up after the baby shower. He didn't bombard Tony with "buck this" or "bucky that" every five minutes at least, so he finally got some time to himself to work in his lab.

Or, at least, it was supposed to be time to himself.

The first thing that happened when he entered his lab. His personal sanctuary was he was greeted by Friday announcing that 'Mister Barnes is waiting inside for you'. Which not only was unwelcome, it was concerning that he'd somehow gotten in. Not even the other Avengers were allowed in his lab without him being there.

He found the former soldier curled up under one of his desks, arms wrapped around one of the pillows he kept around for when he was too tired to go upstairs.

"Hey," Tony kicked the side of the desk. If he got murdered then it was all Steve's fault. "You're not supposed to be in here."

Bucky flinched and turned at look up at him. "Sorry," He muttered, crawling out from under the desk. "I just wanted to ask ya' something."

"The answer is no. Now get out of my lab, you're not welcome in here." Tony crossed his arms and snapped his thumb towards the door. "Get out."

"I wanna know if they're healthy," Bucky rubbed his hand down his stomach, "I know you don't like me, but I can't go to a regular doctor and I just wanna know if they're okay. Sorry to bother you."

Tony stared at the omega for a minute. How was he supposed to say no to that? Steve's omega nearly whimpering in his lab, worried about kids he knew nothing about. Possibly not even the father of.... hell with it. "Sit down on the bench over there, I'll get the scanners up. It won't be the same as a regular doctor, but I can tell you how many there are and if there's anything wrong in there."

Bucky smiled, carefully sitting down on the only clean part of the bench, careful not to disturb anything. "Thank you."

"Yeah yeah, you're welcome. Do you know how far along you are?"

"Six months if I had to guess, but I'm not really sure. Hydra kept me in the field through the first few months of it, so with all the wipes I really don't know when it happened."

Tony nodded and hooked up a scanner to a small screen. it was kind of basic, but it would give him a good x-ray and Friday could tell him what they were looking at. "I'd say five or six months, yeah. Okay, I'm gonna press this against your stomach then it's gonna show the picture on the screen. I may have to adjust the settings a bit to get a good look, but it'll work better than what most doctors use."

"Okay," Bucky pulled his shirt up a bit to let Tony press the machine against his skin, wincing a bit at the cold contact. He didn't say anything as Tony fiddled with the machine to get the picture on the screen to the focus he wanted.

"Friday, could you scan for problems?" Tony looked over the picture for a second. "Looks like you have two in there, but I may be wrong. I'm not a doctor. I mean, I am a doctor, but not this kind of doctor. You know what I mean. Friday, what do you have for me?"

"Mister Stark, the pregnancy appears to be in the seventh month with two female kits. Smaller than average due to malnourishment in the omega, but no identifiable medical issues to report."

Tony nodded. "There you go. You're seven months along and you've got two healthy females. Anything else?"

Bucky shook his head, rubbing a hand down his stomach, feeling the kits kicking against his hand. "Thank you," He smiled through a yawn, stumbling to his feet.

"Get some rest," Tony ordered, grabbing a blanket for Bucky before shoving the stuff off of the bench. "I'll call Cap to come and get you in a bit, you can take a nap. I don't think you'll make it walking upstairs as is."

Bucky didn't argue; just taking the blanket and crawling back onto the bench. He was snoring in seconds.

Tony had to admit that maybe Bucky wasn't as bad as he'd thought.

X X X X X X X X X X X

"Friday, could you tell Steve that his omega is down here? He's probably getting worried by now." To be honest, he'd forgotten that Bucky was in there, but if Steve noticed he was gone then he'd probably freak out. He probably already was, it had been over an hour now. 

"Mister Rogers is headed down to the lab, does he have permission to proceed?"

"Yes, he does. Let him know to be quiet please, Bucky's sleeping."

"Yes, Mister Stark."

Steve was through the door in an instant. He wasn't carrying his shield, but it was obvious he was ready for a fight. "Bucky?"

"Shh!" Tony hissed, glancing back at the omega. "He's asleep, he was tired. I thought you might wanna know where he was before you start another damn civil war looking for him."

"Why is he even down here?" Steve demanded, leaning against Tony's work table.

Tony growled at him, pushing him away from his work. "He wanted to know how the pups were doing. it's not like he can go to a regular doctor you know, and I'm guessing Bruce was busy. The real question is how the hell he got down here because he was waiting for me when I came down and he never set off any alarms. He may not have the motivation anymore, but he definitely has the training of an assassin."

"You should've called me earlier, I could've figured something out. And if you hurt him I-"

"He's seven months along with two girls, no medical problems. You really think I'd hurt him? I may not like the idea of him hanging out in the tower, but I'm not about to turn him awya when he's begging me to tell him if his kits are okay. Now you can either wake him up to take him upstairs or wait until he's finished with his nap. I just wanted to make sure you didn't panic trying to find out where he was."

Steve sighed, glanicng back to Bucky. He looked peaceful sleeping on one of Tony's benches, but somehow he had doubts about Tony letting his guard down around him. "I'll wait here for him then."

"Alright," Tony nodded, "Find a seat and don't talk to me, I'm busy. I mean it."

X X X X X X X X X X

"I want you to mate me." They were back in Steve's room, Bucky laid out on the bed with his shirt off so he could watch the kits kick against his stomach and Steve sitting on the floor drawing him wearing baggy sweaters and flower crowns.

"Bucky, you don't mean that," Steve sighed. He'd love to mate Bucky. To know that nothing in the world could tear them apart and to know that alphas would know to leave Bucky alone, his scent telling them he was taken? That would be paradise. "I love you, but this is something we're supposed to think about. Discuss with each other, you know? You can't take that back."

"I know that!" Bucky huffed. "I've been thinking about it since we were kids, I want you to mate me. Besides, we're talking about it right now, aren't we? I don't want to take it back. That's kinda the point. I wanna be yours forever. I want my kits to have a proper family. I want someone I know it gonna be there for me and that's you, Stevie. If you don't want to then I'll drop it, promise, but I need you to know that's what I want."

Steve pursed his lips, putting away his drawing things. "That's what I want too, Buck." It was true. Fuck, he wanted Bucky to be his omega more than anything, but... Well, nothing really. They knew each other better than anyone. Why shouldn't they? "I just think we should think about it a bit more. It's a big decision."

"Alright." Bucky had thought about it plenty, but he could respect Steve taking things slow. He always had. "Could I kiss you?"

Steve flushed and walked over, leaning over Bucky and pressing a kiss to his lips. "You know you can, Buck. Anytime."

Bucky hummed, pulling his alpha closer. "Til the end of the line."

"Til the end of the line."

**Author's Note:**

> So what did you think? Tomorrow's kink is crossdressing for anyone who's following all my kinktober shit
> 
> also, I'm actually considering continuing this one after this month so I put it as having multiple chapters, but know it won't update until November at least


End file.
